I'm LITERALLY Writing This Right Now

I've become quite fond of using, elongating, and really heavily stressing the word 'LITERALLY,' but solely among those under 50. Recently it's dawned on me that our generation has become so used to exaggerating and using the word 'like' to avoid at all costs saying the absolute truth that when we do try to communicate a simple, actual fact, we must stress that we mean what we say quite literally. 

I must stop saying 'like' unless I mean 'similar to' or the other host of meanings we all know but need not drone on about. Despite my best efforts, I've let that loathsome misuse of the English language creep into my lexicon, bubbling forth from unknown origins, betraying my intelligence and way with words. I never had that Mr. Gold in high school, legend in a tweed suit and a ring whose rap upon the desk sent many a 'like'-ing person into distress. I never got to skip his class, mock his very human decency, or experience his flashbacks. But I like that he tried to get people to stop misusing the word 'like.' At least he tried at that.